Types of Vampires or Really Difficult
Persons
1 -Criticising Vampire- his divine
mission is to correct the wrongs of this world. It’s not really about you. It’s about him. He
has a need to make others small so he can become big. The real problem about these persons is that
they really don’t like themselves… so they have to hide that fact behind their
outward show of arrogance and anger.
2 -Spoiled Brat Vampire – He has to get
what he wants. He has to have control of the situation. Everything has to be
according to his plan. He is a controlling vampire. If he doesn’t get it, he
throws tantrums. If the criticising vampire is offended or hurt, he’ll be like
a grenade and blow his top – leaving a lot of collateral damage- all those poor people
around him who gets hurt in the process. If he makes demands and they are not met, he’ll threaten
to leave the relationship or the group that he works with.
3 -Sensitive Vampire – the vampire
who for any simple reason cries. People who are overly sensitive… too onion skinned. They always see the hurt
and the pain in anything you do or say to them. It’s like: Anything you say or
do will be used against you. If you
raise your voice probably because of excitement or happiness, she asks: why are
you shouting at me? She feels that the whole world is out to get her and hurt
her. She is a victim vampire. She just
wants to feel sorry for herself. You know why? if she doesn’t she will lose her
core identity as a victim of life’s never ending catastrophes.
4 -Clinging Vampires – they are
needy vampires, needy persons. They cling to you, holding on to you for dear life.. they will make you
feel that their entire life is totally dependent on you. Their entire
self-esteem is almost based on your presence in their life. And you will feel
smothered, annoyed, pestered… can’t breathe in that relationship. And if you request for some space, get ready for a huge drama to erupt…. They will fight tooth and nail to get you
back, the way someone fights for oxygen. But
here’s the thing. Once they get tired of you they'll leave you, and very soon you’ll
find them sinking their teeth onto their next victim. Clinging vampires can’t
be alone. They will always have to be in a co-dependent relationship.
5 -Plastic Vampires – you love
these vampires just like you wow at an eye-candy. This vampire is
the most charming yet the most dangerous. Single ladies beware. He will sweep
you off your feet with sweet and loving words. He’ll go out of his way, giving
you gifts, calling you just to ask how you are, opening his heart
until you fall in love with him…. And then… you catch him lying about something
small… but he has an excuse, and when the excuse does not hold, he has an
elaborate story to back it up until you unwittingly believe. Later you discover that he has a mountain of
unpaid debts and a long tale of indiscretions. Then you realize he is a
pathological liar. He is a fake – a plastic vampire. This
vampire is so good at lying, he actually believes in his own lies. It all
starts with one lie, but to be consistent he will have to support that one lie
with nine other lies. Soon his stories will be an intricate messy web of
deception that will one day come crashing down on him.
Can you now see these types of vampires around you…. So why do you think I told you
about them. So that we can avoid them, right? Wrong. So that we can change them, right? Wrong. The
goal of this is not to change other people. The goal is to change you. But
I’m not a vampire! yet… Check out the gospel of today.
One
day the master sowed good seeds in his field, but while everybody was asleep,
an enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and went away. (Just like everyone of us, we were all created good in
God’s image. But then seeds of evil trickled in – the effects of sin, the evil
influences around us – people, society, places, circumstances) Later on when the
slaves saw the weeds among the wheat, the slaves asked the master: Would you
like us to gather the weeds and destroy them? The master said No. for in gathering the weeds you would
uproot the wheat. Let both of them grow together until the harvest. The weeds and the wheat when young are
indistinguishable… just like the good and the bad seeds in each of us. Thus
they grow together. But when the time comes that you can distinguish each, only
then can you start the task of uprooting.
You
might not find yourself in the types of vampires I mentioned. But certainly
seeds of one of those vampires might be there in you already- you might have
been bitten by one of them. That is why it is important this early to see what
are your tendencies… which vampire seed is there in you…so that the sooner you
realize the weeds of these vampires in you, you can learn to uproot them
because now you could distinguish the wheat from the weeds… the good from the bad.
So
how can we uproot these weeds of vampirism in us?
My
favorite movie in 2010 was “How to train
your dragon” – In a Viking village where dragons and the people were trying
to kill each other, there was this young lad named Hiccup. He believed that the
dragons no matter how fearful did not really want to harm them. Instead he
believes that these dragons can be tamed and trained to be partners with humans
in their way of life because they were their alter egos. And he turned out to
be right.
It’s
the same with us…. We must not kill the vampires around us and in us (yet)… rather we
must tame them and train them…. How do we do this?
“How to train your vampires” – next week.
References:
Bernstein, Albert. Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People who Drain you Dry, McGraw-Hill, 2001.
Sanchez Jr, Eugenio. How to deal with Difficult People, Shepherd's Voice Publication, 2014.
References:
Bernstein, Albert. Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People who Drain you Dry, McGraw-Hill, 2001.
Sanchez Jr, Eugenio. How to deal with Difficult People, Shepherd's Voice Publication, 2014.