Monday, July 14, 2014

Vampire Homilies 01 - 14th Sunday (How to spot vampires)

"Come to me all you who are tired and I will give you rest." What does this mean? Will God give us rest by solving all our problems, by removing all those people who hurt us or those who are thorns in our lives?  The answer is simple. No. But then he will help us carry our burden. He will help us cope with the problems we face and deal with those people who are difficult and irritating.

I chanced upon a sitcom rerun of "Hot in Cleveland" the other night while trying to break my jetlag. Elka and her writing partner Mamie have to come up with a radio play- “Gone with the Wind.”  Elka suggests:”Let’s make Scarlet O Hara and Rhet Butler vampires….”  Mamie replies: ”But there are no vampires in Georgia or Atlanta.They’re not real. “  Elka:”I know, but nowadays, everything goes better with vampires.”

Real vampires may not exist. But in our everyday life there exists bloodsuckers too - really difficult people who are like vampires… creatures that the suck the joy and life out of us. They affect our emotions negatively.  When we are around them we feel ourselves weakening…. Losing life… losing strength. And sometimes how we pray that these persons were not in our lives. These are the persons a famous psychologist Albert Bernstein talked about in his book Emotional Vampires. They’re not real vampires, but they are RDP’s - really difficult people. But just be careful- vampires are hard to tell, who knows we could be one too without knowing. 

How to spot vampires or the really difficult persons in our life?
1) Vampires suck blood of their victims. Really difficult people suck your joy, your energy, your peace, your time, and attention.

2) Vampires cannot see their own reflection in the mirror.  Really difficult people don’t know they are that way. They think they’re right and everyone is wrong. They think they’re an angel surrounded by us demons.. Why? Because they cannot see their own weaknesses… they cannot see their blind spots. They think it’s alright to irritate us because they have the right to do so.

3) Vampires bite victims and turn them into vampires.  If you allow a really difficult person to control you, you could become a difficult person yourself. Psychologically, we know that an adult victim who was abused or victimised as a child will be inclined to perpetuate the same abuse with their own children. This is because of a principle known as "identification with the aggressor or victim-victimizer" To protect himself, the abused individual unconsciously identifies with his victimizer and so seeks to overcome the feeling of being abused. So you must not get into the vampire cycle of the really difficult person.

4) Vampires are burned by sunlight.  Really Difficult persons are burned by the sunlight of truth.They cringe in the presence of accountability because they know that if they allow truth to enter their lives, the vampire in them will die.

Now in the movies, you would want to destroy these vampires, but in real life, there’s another way – we could transform these vampires or these really difficult persons into beautiful godly creatures….  

Here’s how. First step, the gospel of today. 
“Take my yoke upon you and learn from me. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
Jesus was referring to a double yoke.  This yoke is used to harness a pair of animals like an oxen so that they can drag a load together as efficiently as possible. The secret is the weaker animal gains the strength of the stronger one with which it is yoked with. Russell M. Nelson says:
“You come unto Christ to be yoked with Him and with His power, so that you’re not pulling life’s load alone. You’re pulling life’s load yoked with the Savior and Redeemer of the world, and suddenly your problems, no matter how serious they are, become lighter.”

When we take the yoke, we pair with Jesus. With him, the burden, the problems, the vampires, the work of ploughing the field called life do not disappear… but with him, the load, the problems, the vampires become easier to face.


Now for the next and more important step. Let’s leave that for next week.  


References:
Bernstein, Albert. Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry, Revised and Expanded 2nd Edition, McGraw Hill, 2012.

Sanchez, Bo. How to deal with Difficult People, Quezon City, 2014.