Why get married? “The Lord God said: It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner.” Gen.2
Marriage – is it all about looking
for a wife or a husband?
A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the
classifieds: “Wife wanted”. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all
said the same thing: “You can have mine.””
As
the boys admire the girls and the girls admire the boys they remind us of the
words from elsewhere in the book of Genesis, “God saw all that he had made and indeed it was very good.” (Gen 1)
When the girls look at the boys and when the boys look at the girls they say
everything God has made is very good, and so after some time they get married
to enjoy this goodness more fully and to share in each others joy and sorrows. And continuing on Genesis 2: “the Lord God took one of the man’s ribs
and made it into a woman and brought her to the man.”
Matthew Henry wrote: “Be careful if you make a women cry, because
God counts her tears. The woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not
made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon
by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be
protected, and near his heart to be beloved.” Marriage therefore is an equal partnership.
A
wedding lasts only one day, but marriage for the rest of life. Thus our reading
from Genesis concludes with: “Therefore
a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife, and they become
one flesh.” (Gen 2:24) Becoming one
doesn’t happen overnight. It is something that is learned and that the couple
becomes better at as they share their married life together.
Becoming
one means loving each other, sharing their lives with each other, and taking
each other into consideration always. Becoming one means getting rid of all
selfishness because there is no room for selfishness in marriage.
When
two people get married they bring with them to their marriage normal human
weaknesses and discover weaknesses in the other which previously they did not
know. This is an opportunity to love the other, heal the other, and forgive the
other. There are times when like at the wedding at Cana it will seem as if the
wine really has run out, times when they forgive each other and make a fresh
start.
All marriages are happy–it’s the living together afterward that
causes all the problems. It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his
job, he still ends up with the same boss.”
Well
truthfully in marriage Jesus is the boss. Marriage unites the couple with
Jesus, and brings them God’s blessing. It is not just husband and wife united
to each other in marriage; it is husband and wife united to each other with
Jesus in marriage. All sacraments have lasting value, and the sacrament of
marriage has lasting value. The couple’s promise to each other is until death,
to be faithful to each other always, and that is why Jesus rules out divorce in
today’s Gospel (Mark 10:2-16).
A couple had been married for 45 years and had raised a
brood of 11 children and was blessed with 22 grandchildren. When asked the
secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, “Many years ago we
made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take
all the kids.”
So,
“Is there anything more beautiful in life than a boy and a girl clasping clean
hands and pure hearts in the path of marriage? Can there be any thing more
beautiful than young love?” And the answer is : “Yes there is a more beautiful
thing. It is an old man and an old woman finishing their life’s journey
together on that path. Their hands are gnarled, but still clasped; their faces
are wrinkled but still radiant; their hearts are physically bowed and tired,
but still strong with love and devotion for one another. Yes, there is a more
beautiful thing than young love. Old love. Enduring love.”
There is a story about
President Grant. (He’s the one whose picture is on the US fifty dollar bill.) When
Grant was a young man, he was traveling in a carriage accompanied by a young
woman named Julia Boggs Dent. They arrived at a flooded creek with a flimsy
bridge over it. Grant said, "Don't be frightened, Julia. I'll take care of
you."
Looking at the turbulent
creek, she said, "I will cling to you whatever happens." When they
reached safety on the other side, he said, "Julia, back there, you said
you'd cling to me whatever happens. Would you cling to me for the rest of our
lives?"
Well, she would. However,
Julia's dad opposed the marriage. He did not consider Grant good enough for his
daughter. It took Grant some time to convince her father. In spite of her dad's
fears, they had one of the happiest marriages of any public figures. Even in
their 50's, the couple still held hands and insisted on being seated next to
one another on trains and in restaurants.
Ulysses Grant and Julia Boggs Dent had a beautiful, lifelong marriage.
For those who are married, our prayers for you
today is that it may indeed last for a lifetime under God’s mantle of love and
protection.
References:
At the end of his life, Grant made a heroic
sacrifice. Even though he was greviously ill with throat cancer, out of concern
for the material welfare of Julia and children, he wrote the Memoirs -
his only literary work.
Henry, M. (2008). Commentary on the Whole Bible: Complete and Unabridged
in One Volume.
Hendrickson Publishers.
Lane,
T. (2013). Marriage is a school of love and forgiveness.