Monday, August 11, 2014

Vampire Homilies 05 - 19th Sunday (“I am sinking, save me")

How do we tame, train, and transform our vampire?
Last week we saw that to be able to tame and train our vampire, we need to be able to protect ourselves first… and we do this by creating either a physical or emotional distance. Today in the gospel Jesus reminds us: “Immediately after feeding the crowd, Jesus and his disciples got into the boat to go ahead of the crowd to the other side (physical distance). And after he had dismissed the crowd, Jesus went up the mountain by himself to pray (emotional distance).(Mt.14:22)

Today let’s go further, how do we transform our vampire?
The gospel talks about Jesus saving Peter at sea. He sees Jesus walking on the water, gets out of the boat, starts walking to Jesus, gets frightened of the strong wind, and starts sinking.  Then he shouts: “Lord, save me.” Jesus saved the wavering and unstable Peter because Jesus is stability personified, a rock, an anchor, to which Peter could cling to and hold on to for dear life and would never ever sink.

Now this time let’s have this scenario at sea but with you and your vampire. Both of you are in the boat, then your vampire jumps in the water, and not knowing how to swim shouts: “Friend, save me” as he extends his hands for you to reach.  What will you do?

Will you jump from the boat and swim to his aid? What if he pulls you down with him?  That’s what vampires do, right? If you give your hand, they pull you down. What you do is get a rope, tie one end to a secure part of the boat, throw the rope at him, and if he grabs it, you pull him towards the boat.

The only way to save him is to maintain your distance from him and to maintain your position of stability. How to maintain distance we already discussed. But to maintain your position of stability, what does that mean?

Remember again the story of the old man with a stick who will beat you whether you eat the bread or not? What are our options? (1) walk out and find bread elsewhere, (2) protect your head and eat the bread…. Both are about maintaining distance.


Today, to transform your vampire you have to remember it’s now about you, it’s about you maintaining your stability: Take his stick and break bread together. Invite the old man to sit with you at table – to break bread together. Take the stick. Your message to him is: “Don’t lord it over me, don’t go abusing me. Let’s sit as equals and share our stories together.

Say what you feel, this means confronting your vampire (I was hurt by what you said...) But don’t say it harshly or judgingly; you’ll trigger the vampire’s sophisticated defence. It will blink red alert and he’ll either avoid you or attack you like a threatened animal.

Say your lines calmly. “A soft and gentle answer turns away anger, but harsh words stir up fury and wrath” (Pr 15:1).  To Elijah the Lord says: Go stand on the mountain, the Lord is about to pass by. There was the wind, so powerful, so harsh, but the Lord was not there. There was the earthquake, so strong, but the Lord was not there. There was the fire, so blinding and destructive, but the Lord was not there.. and after came a sheer silence. And Elijah heard it, and he wrapped his face because he knew God has come. God could not be found in force and violence, but in kindness, gentleness, and love. (1 K 19)

And so, love them to shame. The vampire or that really difficult person you are talking to is also a beloved child of God. And you have to remind him of that and do not just remind him of his weakness. You can do this because you know that this person deep down inside is not really a vampire. By showing him this kindness, you are telling him: “Your stick has no effect on me.  It is totally useless. Here let me love you.” When you deal with really difficult people, tell them they are difficult. But do not forget to tell them, through your words and actions, that they are worthy of love. Take his stick and eat bread together.

Transformation is never instant. Transformation is a journey. And as you journey with him in this task, do not forget to protect yourself – maintain your physical and emotional distance when needed and maintain your position of stability.

Finally remember that your role is to help heal their brokenness not to heal their badness. When you see a really difficult person, you only see parts of a broken vase… these broken parts are ugly, sharp, useless. You do not like to look at it, you get cut when you hold it, and all you feel is that is should be thrown away. But then that’s how you see…. You see badness and this- you cannot heal. However if you try to see how this all happened to him and from his perspective, you might have a change of heart. Here’s how a vampire feels about his life in his own words; try to feel what he feels:

“I see a beautiful and expensive vase. I reach out to touch its exquisite feel. It’s old, heavy, yet elegant and feels great. O how I would like to own a vase like this. I put back the vase on its pedestal to make sure it’s safe. And just as I was about to step away, I see the vase tip and start to fall. Like slow motion, I try to reach for it, but it slips through my fingers and shatters on the cold, marble ground. As the pieces scatter through the room, shattering sounds echo through my heart.

I stop and die a little inside. I have just broken the most beautiful vase I’ve ever seen. As I stare at the pieces I begin to realize… that vase is me. I panic. Put all the pieces in a pile. I begin to cry, I scream and shout. It doesn’t help. The vase is still broken and no amount of frustration, anger, crying, or beating myself up is ever going to put it back together again.

There is no more emotion left to feel but emptiness. I try to find a glue that could hold the pieces together again but to no avail. I need your help but I am afraid that all you see will be ugly, sharp, and useless pieces of a broken vase and like me it is worthless.”

When you try to tame and transform a vampire, will he change?  Well sometimes the vampires change.  Sometimes they won’t. But you know, that’s Ok because your role is not to know if they changed or not. Let God take care of that as a potter fixes a broken vase.  Your role is to love your vampire… to defang them. To tell them that they are really children of an incredible God who loves them totally and could heal them.  Your role is not to heal their badness.  Your role is to help heal their brokenness. So do not worry, do not be afraid of what happens to you for at the end it would be just like the gospel of today:

So Peter got out of the boat, started walking on the water and came to Jesus. When he noticed the strong wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out: “Lord, save me!" Jesus immediately reached out his hand and caught him. “Take heart, my friend, it is I; do not be afraid.” (Mt. 14: 29b-31a.27)

Additional Reference:

Dealing with Brokenness